SOME DISTURBING LOCAL DEVELOPMENTS IN DISSOCIATIVE BEHAVIOR

Ilene has graced us with some new insights into her philosophy towards life vis à vis aesthetics, the performing arts, and interpersonal ethics. To wit:

On the television program Arrested Development:

"I love this show more than I love anyone in real life."

On her reason for loving Arrested Development more than any actual human being:

"There's nothing these characters can do to hurt me."

On her new Vizio flatscreen television:

"Anyone who wants to spend time with me is gonna have to compete with this baby."

On her general attitude towards the human race:

"I hate everyone."

Wise beyond her years, this one. When she speaks, you know what I do? I listen.